Funny Status Lines

I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button. (funny status lines)

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funny status lines
funny status lines


Doing nothing is a very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.

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Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

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Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.

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funny status lines

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Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbor’s wife, And beer as COLD as your own.

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Math : Mental Abuse To Humans

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Time Is Precious. Waste It Wisely.

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I’M Great In Bed. I Can Sleep For Days.

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Lazy Rule: Can’T Reach It. Don’T Need It.

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Never Give Up On Your Dreams. Keep Sleeping.

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Be Strong I Whispered To My Wifi Signal.

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Women May Not Hit Harder. But They Hit Lower.

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funny status lines

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Nobody Texts Faster Than A Pissed Off Female.

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With Great Power Comes Great Electricity Bill. ( Funny Whatsapp Status )

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Dear Karma, I Have A List Of People You Missed.

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I press all the "Try Me" buttons on toys and then walk away LIKE A BOSS.

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Me without you is like Facebook with no friends, YouTube with no videos, and Google with no results.

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Girls are beautiful, not hot. They are not a temperature.

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Dear friends, please don't tag me in a photo that is so prehistoric you have to scan the photo to make it digital. No one here is into studying history, sincerely everybody born before 2010.

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Don't think too much or you could create a problem that wasn't even there.

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funny status lines

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Without candy crush, I'd be like a kid with no candy!

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Telling me you're going to unfollow me is like announcing you're leaving a party you weren't even invited to.

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I did not say I didn't want to work. I said I didn't want to twerk!

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Cheese. Milk's leap towards evolution.

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My mum's so old-fashioned she thinks LOL = Lots of love. She sent me an SMS saying just to let you know you're Pa is in the hospital LOL.

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I'm following you on Twitter because my mum always told me to follow my dreams.

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funny status lines

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Everyone is normal until you find them on Twitter.

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Tired? There's a nap for that.

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I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own FONT. !!
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Please don’t get confused between my personality and my attitude.

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Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you.

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I’m cool but global warming made me hot.

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When you're sick, the advice you get is to literally do drugs and stay out of school.

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I don’t need to explain myself because I know I’m right.

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I am not perfect but I am limited Edition.

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My attitude is based on how you treat me.

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funny status lines

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Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else.

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Excuse me. I found something under my shoes oh it's your Attitude.

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When I’m good I’m best, when I’m bad I’m worst.

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I’m poor. I can’t pay attention in class room.

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Life will give u exactly what you need, not what you want.

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Yeah U – The one reading my status, Get Lost!

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I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!

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"This isn't my first rodeo." -Me, at my second rodeo

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A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

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funny status lines

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My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death..!!

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When I’m a Pedestrian I Hate cars.. When I’m Driving I Hate Pedestrians…


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Whoever says “Good Morning” on Monday’s deserves to get slapped

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Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

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funny status lines

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I didn't go to the gym today,....but the cashier's name at Macdonald's was Jim...sooo same thing.



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